The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
