carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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