I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
