Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
