woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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