Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
