I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
