You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
