my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
