Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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