it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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