Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
