dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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