I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
pray to the hookup gods
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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