God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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