What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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