Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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