fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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