ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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