Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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