yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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