Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
