I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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