weddingsv make me drug and hornr
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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