I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize