I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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