So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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