i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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