i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
