i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
