she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
