WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
