You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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