im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
