you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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