Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
