I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I could fuck to npr.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
