she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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