I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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