yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
