I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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