Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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