I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize