My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
