absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
