So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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