how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
