Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
