We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Randomize
