I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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