i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
