Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
