Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
