i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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