did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
