It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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