it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
