She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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