He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
