Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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