dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i out mim tonsoeep
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