girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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