I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
