I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize